I Know, But I Want You to Say It
by Hikaru Morinaga
Summary: Inspired by an OTP Prompts post. Heero isn't the type to tell Duo he loves him, but one night as Duo drifts off to sleep, he realises that Heero's been saying it all along, just in a different way. 1x2. One shot. Written for pantslesswookiee on tumblr.


**I Know, But I Want You to Say It**

**Written for pantslesswookiee on tumblr and inspired by an OTP Prompts post, I decided this would be a great birthday present for him. It takes place in our RP 'verse, but you don't need any understanding of it to enjoy the fic.**

I love watching Heero sleep, how young and innocent he looks. You can't really tell that at one point he was a soldier of war, it ain't written on his forehead or nothing. When he sleeps, he shaves off a few years, no longer the father of four who's seen so much shit in his life. And there's also the fact that half the time he doesn't sleep well, and I hate disturbing him by entering the bedroom, but Heero's gotten better at it (and I've gotten quieter at it). He doesn't jolt awake at the tiniest noise with a gun in his hand, wondering if someone's out to kill him (when in reality it was Kat tripping over one of his slippers on his way to the bathroom). He doesn't always sleep through the night, especially when I'm not there, but he's gotten better at that, too. Letting him sleep is one of my ways of spoiling him on his days off, and I just lay there with him and relax.

When I get home from my second late shift this week, I stop in the doorway and admire his face in the glow of the TV that's playing some kind of infomercial before shutting the door and pulling at my tie. Either Heero left it on when he fell asleep, or Kat was sleep-buying again and we'd get a delivery in four to six weeks for some weird thing, like the egg blender last week that, for the low, low price of only 29.99 creds, you can do nothing but blend eggs! (Kat returned it the next day.) I walk over to the TV and turn it off before throwing my tie onto the doorknob of the closet and unbutton my shirt, throwing that onto the growing pile of laundry along with my pants.

The carpet is warm, so warm I can feel it through my socks as I pad over to the en-suite bathroom and end up on beautifully heated tile, one of the things Kat insisted we get when we built this house, to wash up my face, brush my teeth, and do my hair. Usually Heero does my hair before bed while I do everything else to save time, but I can manage just fine on my own. After towelling off my face, I brush my teeth, letting the tap run. Heero usually scolds me, or Kat gently chides me about water consumption and ocean life or whatever, but I do it anyway.

I undo my braid and get the tangles out with my fingers, eying myself in the mirror above the sink as I grab the brush I keep on it. It takes about ten minutes to brush and braid my hair, mostly to brush it. The braid is loose and messy, always is for bed, and I tie it off with one of the elastics I keep on the sink. Just in case I ever lose one, which when you're the parent of four kids and one's only a few months old, you'll probably end up losing more than a few hair ties.

Stifling a yawn, I leave the bathroom and check the baby monitor to make sure Rayan is fast asleep before heading over to my side of the bed, right next to Heero. He's half on his back, half on his side, with one arm covering where I normally sleep, and the other draped over the small bump in his abdomen. I sit first, peel off my socks, and stealthily get under the covers so I don't wake Heero, and move his arm so I don't lay on it. As I lay next to him, I feel his arm move and he pulls me into his arms, face buried in my neck as he wraps my braid around his hand. It'skinda awkward to be pressed up against him 'cause of the baby bump in the way, but I've gotten used to it enough that I can easily adjust. I kiss his forehead, wrap my arms around him as best as I can before whispering, "Good night, 'Ro."

He murmurs "good night" into my shoulder.

"I love you." I reach in between us, stroke his growing belly before kissing him again.

"I know," he says. He never says it back, but whenever he says it he traces his finger against my back. I settle in his arms and as I start dozing off I realise that Heero is writing something on my back. It's not a word I recognise so it must be Japanese. I'll have to ask someone in the morning. I reach behind Heero and grab Kat's hand, squeezing it gently before Heero's even breathing lulls me to sleep.

"Megan!" I greet as she leaves the cash office, papers, a tellermate, and a coffee in hand. She's probably on her way to drop off the audit sheets for Ray before going off to make copies. "Can I bug you for a minute?"

She sets down the teller mate and several sheets of paper before folding the rest.

"Sure," she says, with a little bit of her L2 accent showing up in her speech. She's by herself today, no Laura or Sheila to be found. "I'm done with important shit anyway. Whatcha need?"

"You know Japanese right?" I try to remember the sheet that Heero'd made up of our available translators and what languages they speak. I can't ask Heero to do this, and if I google it, it'll probably tell me something weird...

She nods. I take a deep breath, trying to think of how I wanna ask this.

"Can you tell me what this word means?" I grab the TMAT from the podium and write the word down on the back side of it, unsure if I'm even spelling it right. I hand it to her, and she looks at it a bit before smiling some.

"Koishiteru," Megan says. "Right?"

I shrug. "I guess. I've only...felt it written, never seen or heard it." I look at her. "What does it mean?"

"Well _basically_ it means 'I love you'," she begins. "But the Japanese have different ways of saying that and each one means it differently. You have 'suki desu', which means..." She trails off, looking at me before clearing her throat. "I won't bore you with details, but... In this case... Koishiteru is what you say to someone you plan on being with forever. It means 'I love you always'." She gives me a serious look. "It's _not_ something someone says lightly. They mean it."

I smile at her. "Thanks a bunch, Megan." I mean it too. I watch her head off towards the back of the store and sigh as register thirteen sparks and makes ominous beeping noises. Sean ain't here today, so if that register goes, I'll have to wait for him to come in before it can be fixed. I scribble the word out on the TMAT and put it back on the podium so Ray doesn't have a heart attack.

Maybe Heero can't tell, or he doesn't know, but I'm serious about this too. About us. About our marriage. About how much I love him. And I've never once thrown that phrase around, and up until Kat joined the picture, Heero's the only one I've ever said 'I love you' to.

And he'll likely be the only person I _will_ ever say this to.

I climb into bed with Heero again, snuggle in tight with him since it's feckin' cold as shit out. I kiss him softly, one arm around his neck, other against his bare chest, before whispering, "Good night," as I always do. He says it back against my mouth and then pauses, waiting for me, waiting for me to complete the ritual we've been doing for the past seven and a half years. I see uncertainty in his eyes when he realises that our little routine isn't going the same as it always does, and I kiss him again as I write on his chest "koishiteru". And as I get halfway through the word, I feel Heero tense as he realises what my finger is tracing against his skin. After underlining it, I draw a heart right above his and I write "Grá mo chroí" to finish. He pulls me closer, his face in my hair, mouth kissing the top of my head before he says, voice just above a whisper, "Koishiteru mo, Duo."

It's the first time he's ever said he loves me, at least out loud, and a shiver creeps up my spine. I know he means it. But I never needed him to tell me, because I know he loves me every day. It's in the looks he gives me, the small smiles I see whenever I say something he finds amusing. Even after being broken up for a while, he still remembered how I take my coffee, what my favourite foods are, and where I love being kissed. The intensity I feel and see when he's above me or underneath me, worshipping me or receiving it from me, as he moans and whispers my name. When at the end of a long day, he wraps his arms around me and holds me without saying a word, just nuzzles my neck and keeps me close.

And to me? That's all I need from him.


End file.
